The Path to Self-Acceptance: How Learning Gentle Therapy Methods Can Improve Your Self-Worth

Do you struggle with accepting yourself? Constantly comparing yourself to others or feeling as though you are not enough no matter how much effort you put into it? A lot of people struggle with the constant inner criticism and doubt. There is hope that you can build confidence and love in yourself again. Understanding what coping skills there are and how to utilize them is the first step. By focusing on your strengths and starting to operate from a place of acceptance rather than fear you can begin to break free from self-sabotaging patterns and embrace a life of authenticity. 

In this article we will discuss and explore what methods you can employ to embrace more self-acceptance. This can be helpful when dealing with things like negative self-talk, anxiety, depression, and stress. Let’s dive in! 

Common Roadblocks to Self-Acceptance

There can be a lot of roadblocks that stop us from accepting ourselves as we are. Common ones include: 

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can play a key role in depression and anxiety. It can also lead to shame and low self-esteem. Often the negative self-talk can continue and become worse when there is a lack of self-awareness. 

Other times, we know that it is present, but we don’t know how to change it, and so we start to avoid it, and then in turn it becomes more difficult. 

Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing yourself to others is another common roadblock to self-acceptance. When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we set unrealistic expectations and can feel like we're not good enough. This can lead to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and low self-esteem.

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is exhausting and self-sabotaging in nature. Striving to be perfect is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. It’s uncomfortable, doesn’t work, and can be incredibly frustrating. When one has unrealistic expectations this can lead to feelings of anxiety and low self-worth. 

The Gentle Therapy Method: What It Is and How It Works

The Gentle Therapy Method allows someone to improve self-compassion, mindfulness, and self-forgiveness in order to let go of unhealthy patterns of criticism and self-sabotaging behavior in order to build a more positive relationship with yourself. It’s also an excellent choice when dealing with the ‘inner critic’, anxiety, and depression. It can help a person begin to notice their feelings without judging themselves which lends itself to higher confidence, healthier emotional well-being, and self-awareness. 

Core Components of the Gentle Therapy Model 

Mindfulness 

Mindfulness teaches us to pay attention to what is happening in the moment; with our thoughts and feelings which can allow you to break free of unhealthy patterns. 

Self-Compassion & Forgiveness

Self-compassion is the act of being kind, understanding, and empathetic towards yourself. Remembering that you are human and perfection isn’t necessary.

Forgiveness is giving yourself grace and letting go of mistakes you’ve made in the past. By learning to let go you can start to release stuck emotions and move forward. 

These are some basic ideas for moving forward: 

Practice Kindness Towards Yourself

Do you ever get so angry at yourself that you don’t know how to get that voice inside of you to be quiet? If we talked to others in the way that we speak to ourselves (especially when we have an inner critic) we wouldn’t have very many friends now would we? 

Try speaking to yourself in a tender and gentle way. This can lead to more self-acceptance. Imagine that you are talking to your child or a friend that is hurting and speak to yourself in the same tone.  

Practice Mindfulness

Practice mindfulness by getting grounded in your body, this can be done by utilizing a coping skill called affectionate breathing. Affectionate breathing involves deep, slow breathing while setting an intention to feel the love and warmth in your heart.  Science indicates that affectionate breathing can reduce stress, depression, anxiety, lower our blood pressure, and improve our overall immune system. Kristen Neff and Christopher Germer developed a Mindful Self-Compassion Program (MSC) and this practice is discussed. You can also go through a guided meditation by Kristen Neff here: Affectionate Breathing - A Guided Meditation by Kristin Neff

Another method for practicing mindfulness is using EFT tapping (also known as emotional freedom technique). Here is a helpful YouTube video that walks you through the process. https://youtu.be/eihUt_CXxic

Let Go of Past Mistakes

Letting go of things you’ve done in the past or things others have done to you can be really difficult. Part of growing as a human being is exploring regrets that we have. When it comes to letting go of your own mistakes this includes owning up to it, taking responsibility, and then making a repair when possible. 

In terms of letting go of hurts you’ve received from others; no one can tell you the right or wrong way to do this. It takes as long as it takes. 

Resources for Practicing the Gentle Therapy Method

There are many resources available to help you practice the Gentle Therapy Method, including books, online courses, and therapy sessions. 

Here are some resources to get you started:

Books

- "The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion" by Christopher Germer

- "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown

- "Fierce Self-Compassion” by Kristen Neff 

- “Present over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living” by Shauna Niequist

Online Courses

- The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion

- The Self-Acceptance Project

Therapy

-Therapy can be a valuable container to gain ideas on how to develop self-awareness and self-compassion. It can also help in guiding you towards understanding the patterns of behavior that started in childhood so that you can begin the process of creating a healthier life. 

Conclusion: Progress is progress, and that is enough

Learning to accept yourself is part of a lifelong journey. Remember, as they say in AA, ‘progress not perfection’. As long as you are moving towards your goals each day, you are heading in the direction you want to go. Even if it’s just an inch at a time.